“I Don’t Want to Lose My Job”: The Silence That Protects Abusers

Tonight, I camped outside the police station—where I was told to wait for the tent they promised but never delivered.

A man came out and, citing the janitorial staff, asked me to move. I explained why I was there: that I’m a trafficking survivor, that my ex-husband stole $20 million from me, that I am in danger and need shelter. He just shrugged.

When I pointed out that if he has daughters, he should care, he replied, “I don’t want to lose my job.”

This isn’t the first time I’ve heard this exact line. Again and again, when I speak about the crimes against me and the dangers women face, people’s first response is fear for their own jobs—not my life, or the lives of other women.

That reflex—“I don’t want to lose my job”—is a symptom of a system that silences people who might otherwise help. It’s a quiet but powerful shield for abusers: if everyone is too afraid of punishment to stand up, the perpetrators keep winning.

I am tired of being told my survival is less important than someone else’s paycheck. I am tired of seeing how deep this culture of fear runs. And I am not going to stop calling it out.

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I want to hear from you.

Have you ever been told not to speak up because someone was afraid of losing their job? Have you seen this kind of silence protect wrongdoing? Please share your thoughts or experiences in the comments. Your voice matters, and we need to break this pattern together.